It's too big, it's too wide
It's too strong, it won't fit
I talk like this 'cause I can back it up!

I had 4 Text Clans and no more.

The advent of Text Unlimited (& however the other networks named their unlimited SMS chuva) brought about the birth of Text Clans. From the then very matipid one-text-per-person-per-day style, mautak pinoys now have the liberty to text whoever, whenever, & lemme say, endlessly, too. For Globe users, for example, your P20 lets you to send like more than 1,500 text messages within 24 hours. That still depends on your speed in texting, the number of people you send texts messages to (what about the endless looping quotes!! Haha!) & if you ever have friends who counts texting as one of their let-the-time-pass hobbies, too.

What is a Text Clan? A Text Clan is a group of people who (this is a primary requirement) have cellphones & SIM numbers belonging to the same Network. [Of course! Ü] They recruit members through SMS Resumes sent by a current Text Clan member. There are some clans who have designated officers who interview, or should I say screen, incoming members who expressed interest in joining. Questions like, "Do you have a Friendster? Facebook?", "Are you currently studying? Working?", "Are you open for new & cool people through text?" are what's commonly asked. Members have the liberty of baptizing themselves with whatever name they wanna have, like your personal YM username. After admission, the incoming member will then receive a copy of the names & contact information of ALL the current members. It could be at least 20 pieces of personal information or as many as 60, or even more.

Their singular purpose? To have a text barkada who share anything & everything about themselves. 24/7!! They can talk about themselves or whatever transpired in their lives & they will have to send that to all the members.

There are some clans who set rules on texting. There's this one clan who requires members to GM (group message) at least 10x a week or eviction will follow. (What about a modern take on Big Brother, eh?) Some clans have set Rules & Regulations, too.

Most Text Clans that I know of are mostly composed of members of the gay community. Members are either of the out, the sad & lonely queers, the looking-for-a-BF, the queens, the real gwapos & hotties, the matatalinos kuno, the my-parents-will-kill-me-if-they-found-out, or the just-for-the-sex-if-i-like-you types.

Overall, being a member is cool because you make new friends. Only, you don't know what kind of person you are really exchanging thoughts with. On some rare occassions though, members would organize a Grand Eye Ball (GEB) where they then come out of their faceless existence & meet up with other members. Here's the make or break part of staying as a member. What if a member discovers that he values the face of the people he exchange SMS with other than the overall personality? This is the part which makes some gay people different. We sometimes, or should I say most of the time, stay friends with other gays not mostly because of their capacity to make us a better person just by mere talking but because we think that being with the hot & the gorgeous makes us feel like we are elevated to the next level like they do. Next level my ass! I admit, I do that, too.

Some people manage to look deeper than where good looks end. Think about it, the description of the goods are indeed splashed on the sticker but the real deal is in the baggage itself. Some people may be entirely gwapo & all, but they are just also some bunch of blondes. Some people may also be overall panget, & they are panget all throughout. Some people may also be just OK but they make up to the social requirement by being cool, by being smart, & by being true to themselves.

Hahahahaha!!!

But there are also dangers in these kind of groups. Never never trust anyone you don't know. The mere act of talking, more so meeting up, with a complete stranger is ricky, on top of crazy. Should I say stupid? Have someone you know accompany you during GEBs. Or just don't friggin' go if you are one of those loose minded & weak who wants to give or get a head from some SEB. Talk about protected sex. Talk about safety. Talk about your life after it. A word for the wise: my gay bestfriend received 7 fatal stabs from his cute Eyeball. Scary? Be scared. Be very.

I said I had 4 Text Clans & no more. It's because I just figured (after 4 clans???) that they just won't do me anything better than receive like at least 500+ text messages each day & read about the members' never ending whines like, "i just woke up.. Ü.. kmusta na kau?.. wat u doin'?.. ASL pls.. FS mo?.. ansikip dito sa MRT.. ang gwapo nung katabi ko..." I could still be friends with these people whether I'm in or out of the group, right? Plus the fact that my other more important messages just gets lost between all those lot. Inis lang ng slight na slight! Hahaha!